Be Bold When U Loose And Be Calm When U Win

又回来了

2011-04-22T21:14:00.002+08:00

好久没进来写部落格了。

最近，我都觉得心情好差。心情差的导因是诸事不顺：“热塑料条”，“他热爱宁”， “也阿日批”等等。

同样是人，身世背景差很多。以前，总觉得自己的身世背景很不错；来到这里才知道这根本不能相比。纵使如此，我也不觉得自己的身世背景很可耻！！！

也同样是人，可是实力与才华却差那么多。别人做事情的速度总是比我快很多，就算我日做夜做，速度总是像乌龟一样，慢慢爬。

羡慕别人家很有钱：天生就不用为钱而烦，也比人少奋斗很多年。

也羡慕别人有家里人的疼爱，虽然我有的没比别人多。

我的人缘一样的，比别人差。不管我再怎么努力，他们总认为是理所当然的，不然就是看不到。

我脾气不好，我知道。可是，一件事情不会是一方面的错，双方都会有错。如果不是你做错了什么事情，我至于吃饱闲着找扎吗！！！

被人误会，我已经习惯了，可是你们有知不知道被误会的感觉啊！！！

突然之间，有种压力，我不是很想造成困扰给人，可是就是一直造问题给人。算了吧，我就是这样子的人。。。。。。

好久好久

2010-08-16T04:05:00.002+08:00

好久没回来更新我的部落格了，超过半年了；其实也没有什么东西可以写，只想进来晃晃几下。

说实在的，我发觉自己越来越依赖你。怎么说，就是依赖就对了。

我怕黑，我怕暗，我怕没有什么人的地方，可是你却偏偏喜欢带我去这些地方。
我怕过一次了，我不想在怕多一次，那种感觉一点都不好。
我需要的是安全感，这是每个女孩都会想要的，可是我怎么觉得你不能给我呢？
然而，你每星期一和星期四晚上，你都会特地等我上完课陪我走路回家和吃饭，然后才回家。
就算你有事请，你都会特地赶来站在课室外面等我上完课，就算你很累、下雨，也一样。

有时候，我觉得你有点吵外加有点烦人。
我知道你为我好、关心我，可是当我想一个人静静的时候，可不可以让我静一静，你静静在旁边呆着、陪着我就好了。
当我在睡觉的时候，可不可以不要打扰我。这里不是我的家，我睡觉没有像在家里一样，睡到像死猪一样。
在这里，轻轻的动我、轻轻地说话，我都很容易被吵起来，而且我不喜欢在睡觉的时候被人吵起来。

有时候有什么事情，我都不会说出口，只会放在心上、或是写出来。
怎么说，我不喜欢把自己的事情告诉人任何人，对我来说说了等于没说。
我知道你很想知道我心里想什么，可是我试了很多次想告诉你，可是依然没说出口。
你给我的感觉就是，你突然不想知道了或者就是时间不对，每每我想告诉你的时候，你都不在我身边。

我知道你很迁就我，什么都让我，让我觉得自己越来越野蛮（可以这么说）。
我只肯别人听我说的，可我不想听别人说的，反正我都在做坏人，以致欺负你（嘿嘿）。

Blogging

2009-11-26T10:29:00.003+08:00

Long time didnt blogging already because this is short trimester, many things need to do, very busy (finding excuses). The actual reason is because I became lazy only.

Actully, I have a lot of things need to do, but i skipped half of it. After my MUET test, I became lazy. I skipped my table tennis and squash training. At here, I need to apologise to Yee Fan, my trainer of table tennis. I feel so sorry, you want train me well my table tennis skills, but I said to you that I am not free in this short trimester. Actually is I dont want go training. Unfortunately, you dont have my blog address, you cant see at all also. Haha. Week 3, my table tennis club had sold food and drinks at mosque there. I just went there help care the booth 1 day only, but i didnt help much. Another 2 days, I suppose go there give help, but i skipped too.

Besides that, I also skipped my Japanese extra class. This one cannot blame me. I dont know where is the venue and when is the time. But, I really scare i will fail in my Japanese test. I already threw around thousand Ringgit to learn this language. So, I cannot fail.

At here, I want apologise to my assignment leaders and my BEC partner. I feel so sorry, I just did my part only. The rest throw back to all of you. Hehe.

The last is my Tsu Chi. This short trimester already began 5 weeks, until now i just went for 1 event, put many aeroplanes.

忏悔当中......

衰

2009-10-16T13:17:00.000+08:00

今天真的很衰，我一生中最衰的日子！

早上，我跟我妹去pasar pagi（不是pasar，是pasar malam的倒反）买东西。
两个都没有驾照，就只好踏脚车出去。
当到那里时，我就有种不详的预感。我也不知道为什么。
我出门前，妈妈就说这台脚车有得锁，可是到那里，我锁不到，也不会锁，就心想应该不会被偷吧，每次都没锁。
哪里知道，一买完东西，准备回家，脚车不见，欲哭无泪。
结果，回到家，预期的，准中骂啦，不中骂就奇怪咯。
妈妈骂完，轮到二哥念，念完，轮到爸爸骂。

一句话，衰到家。
真搞不懂那个小偷，竟然偷一台不值钱的脚车，那么多台值钱的不偷...

MUET

2009-10-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

Haiz…
I really hate English this subject, just because it is too flexible, can’t estimate what it will come out and not similar with other subjects that can memorize and understand easily.

The first paper is speaking test which held on 21st October.

Haiz…
My English just like kanasai. When I said out, it became other people jokes. Or not, nobody understands what I said. It really made me feel sad. I really envy these people who are strong in English, can communicate with others easily when using English. At the same moment, I just keep quiet at there or speak using Chinese.

Haiz…
Why when I heard you all said English just like kacang putih? For me, it looks like Petronas Twin Towers, too hard to achieve and score it. Except eat, drink, fun, and sleep, nothing I know especially in sports, language and ideas field. No have such cells in my body.

*Nothing for me, just feel stupid again. No need any concern, after this test, I will ok again.

New Life

2009-08-18T17:04:00.003+08:00

Ok. I already emo for a long times.Now is the new life for me.
I want to live in the life that I like. It is very simple because 人要活在当下嘛。
It is the last 3 years I can enjoy. So, I need to fully use my degree life.
How to fully use?( Maybe readers will feel that I misusing already) I want do the things I like, do the things I want to do, haha...

Yesterday, I skipped 2 tutorial classes. I feel a little bit guilty because $$$ waste like that. But, if I go,I will feel waste time( Go there dreaming and trancing. Like that I better sleep in my room); today I also skip 1 lecture class. Hehe...
So, firstly, I want become a little bad because I dont like others said I'm a nice people and I know that I'm not as nice as they said.
*Bad that I mean not include kill people, put fire and do some actions that are violate legal rules.

Secondly, I want myself become more active and busy.
I joined many club and society, but half of them is become passive member( ahli mati). Hehe...waste $$$ again.
I got attend training of table tennis and squash because I want improve myself due to my sports cells equal to------zero. Haiz. Since I'm as a kid, I rarely do sports. So......
Unfortunately, it is not as what i thought when I joined the clubs. In the training session, I'm the worst student.
I admit I got feel down,sad and upset at that time, but now no more simply because I'm a special case, I just need more time as compare to others.( Hope that I'm not find so many accuse about it)
Now I know that many things need to view from cheers perspective and I dont want let my friends worry about me and encourage me because ...... I dont want let you all got the chance to worry me and encourage me. Wahaha...
Next trimester is a busy trimester.
My MUET exam and Japanese Test are on next trimester plus next trimester is a short trimester!
(I'm very hope that no have so many assignment and the subject that I take not too tough)During this coming trimester break, I want to use it to do my revision. Haiz. No choice, language is my poor part same as sports.
Next next trimester, my table tennis club got open events.
As a working committee, I hope that I can do it well as my friends said and dont do any wrongs. If do wrong, very siak suei because is whole Malaysia events!

What Should I Do?

2009-08-14T18:57:00.002+08:00

Arh!
Why? Why? Why everytimes back Malacca so many things de?
Hate! I hate! I hate need to trouble so many things.

Arh!
Why? Why? Why I became so lazy(always sleep, do nothing)+stupid(so much things doont know)?

Haiz...
I am feel that I live in the hell. It is very tortured!

What should I do now to solve my trouble? How I improve myself?

*Just "fa xie" only.

爱情

2009-08-03T00:05:00.000+08:00

爱情是什么?

首先是好感

开始慢慢地注意对方,发觉他的好…..再慢慢地欣赏

再来就到暧昧

这个阶段总会好奇对方的下一个行动

也很自由因为必竟还不是男女朋友彼此都不能限制对方

但能感受到幸福的滋味

又有点酸味因为开始在乎对方 so难免会因他身边的异性朋友而吃醋

然后就是喜欢

每天粘在一起一起逛街看电影谈心事

多么窝心甜蜜幸福

相处久了就更了解对方

渐渐地就爱上对方

他伤心,你会替他伤心或是想尽办法让他开心

和他分担所有的喜怒哀乐

日子久了就会习惯对方的存在

这也形成了种依靠

要想继续保持这份爱情的甜蜜与温度

就必须:

信任而不是自欺,
接受而不是埋怨,

尊重而不是奉承,

体贴而不是束缚

交流而不是交待,

慰问而不是质问,

倾诉而不是控诉,

心甘情愿而不是不甘不愿……

如果无法做到这几点

那…问问自己……….

你爱他有多深?

真的爱他吗?

能接受这样的他过一辈子吗?

这个时候的爱情已没有当初的甜蜜

只剩下沉闷,无奈

慢慢会发现彼此的问题……

话题少了关怀少了相处的时间也少了,

剩下的只有敷衍,抱怨…..

是时候结束这份感情了

放手或许对彼此都好

好让大家能找到更好更适合的

切记

勉强的爱情只会让彼此更痛苦

时间能淡忘一切…..

慢慢就不痛了…………….

Stupid

2009-07-23T11:17:00.002+08:00

Why I so stupid?
The simplest and basic things, I also dont know how to do it.
Others people can easily learn the things, just me cant.

Why I so useless?
They spent their time to accompany me to train, but I still cant do it.
Some of them dont know how to play, but still can play well than me.

Why?Why when I feel I am stupid and useless, I just know cry only.
No matter how I try my best or use many effort to do, the effect still like that.

Why I so stupid?
Everythings also dont know.
Everythings also cant do it well, and need others peolpe help me cover the things.

Segenting and Pasir Gudang

2009-06-07T16:18:00.004+08:00

昨天早上，我去石文丁参观。
在那，我看到了鲤鱼。
我看到的鲤鱼与一般的鲤鱼不同。

接下来，我到Pasir Gudang的码头搭国艇去海中心上赌船。
我的前面是一对中年夫妇。
当我要上国艇时，那位uncle扶助aunty的手，小心翼翼地，让我觉得他们好温馨、好幸福喔！^^

搭了一个钟头才到海中心。
在赌船上，我们先玩老虎机。
结果，连本钱二十加额外的十块新币都输光光。
另外，在赌桌上又输了二十。
一直输，索性不玩了。没什么好运，haiz。

最让我气到的是，一直让那里的工作人员问：“你几岁了”。不然就是，小孩子/18岁以下的不能进。
气到我用不爽的语气回答他们，真想顶回人不可貌相，你不懂吗？x（

哭

2009-06-04T23:43:00.000+08:00

哭为何物？说实在的，我也不懂。我只知道哭就是哭。
每个人都哭过。哪个人没哭过。哪个人敢说自己没哭过！只要是人，出生的时候都会哭！
对我而言，哭的人是处在痛苦与悲哀之中的。而我哭的时候，是觉得自己很没用、很笨或者是感伤的时候。
痛苦？悲哀？
如果是女生，她们多半会把痛苦与悲哀给显露出来；少数的会把之收得/隐藏得很好，因为她们的倔强；有些只会在至亲或者是好朋友的面前显露出来。
如果是男生，他们跟女生大大不同。他们不会轻易地把自己痛苦、悲哀的一面呈现在他人面前。为什么？我不知道。如果不小心表露了这一面，他们会找一个很牵强的理由，如：沙子进眼、你看错了，是雨水。试问一句，哪来那么多的沙子、雨水啊？只因为他们的面子、自尊。
而我本身，可以为了一点芝麻绿豆的小事，哭得稀里哗啦的，不然就是有事没事都在哭。当遇到真正该哭的时候，又不哭，不是我不肯哭，是哭不出。
哭，对我而言，可以把自己的痛苦与悲哀给发泄出来；哭不出，那真的是把痛苦、悲哀加深。

*纯属本人的感想、想法…很多地方很矛盾,请见谅。

Foundation year finished

2009-06-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

Haiz...
so fast,1 year already gone...
it is the end of foundation year...
and this is the moment i hate...
i hate to say bye bye with my friend...
my majority friends are choosing accounting course,cant together with them anymore,feel sad...

rice tong member,
i sure will remember you all d...
thanks for given me a nice memory during these 3 weeks business project,i sure will remember it throughout my life...

Myself again

2009-04-30T22:24:00.003+08:00

What happened to me recently? I can't concentrate doing my thing even though during lectures. Oiii, if I keep continous behave like this, my final exam will die aa...

说得容易，做很难！

2009-01-22T16:03:00.002+08:00

为什么我的心越来越不能控制？我嘴巴说的，和心里想的，做的完全不一样。我到底怎么了？再这么下去，我可不能保证我能顺利读完下个学期。心，我要收一收你。无论多困难，我一定要收你，不然我就够力咯。

What i had do?

2009-01-07T23:20:00.002+08:00

I really angry myself. Today, i done 1 things that i cannot forgive myself. Haaaaaaa... What i had done? I already promise myself want to remedy this problem at the end of this trimester, but i dont force myself to do so. During the break, i want to calm down my heart first. If not, next trimester i will worse and die quickly.

Myself

2009-01-05T20:10:00.003+08:00

Recently, i had noticed that what was happened to me liao. This sem, i always cant concentrate when on lecture or during study. This cause my result of midterm and final( i think i should) falls. I found out the reason cause me cant concentrate. So, i will remedy this problem when the end of this sem.

Love

2009-01-05T20:07:00.000+08:00

Recently, i just know love is not as easy as i think. It is very complicated for me( now). Maybe it is because i see more the examples around me( made me feel like that). It is better dont touch it( just for me). I am no sure that i can control myself or not when i get involved in it.

自己

2008-11-20T09:19:00.000+08:00

我突然觉得（或许不是突然觉得，可能是我自己一直假装不知道）自己很没用很笨，什么事都做不好；也觉得自己是多余的（或许根本就是）；也觉得自己很令人讨厌（我自己都讨厌自己，更何况是别人）。唉！

爱情...

2008-11-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

爱情这玩意儿，有时候真的不知道它到底是什么东西！想要它的时候，让人感觉很甜蜜：不想要的时候，让人感觉很伤人。。。

该怎么做？

2008-11-09T21:36:00.001+08:00

有时候，想做一件事，你想这样做，别人想那样做，迁就别人，自己就不快乐：只考虑到自己，别人就会不快乐。两者选一，哪一个都会伤人，感觉很左右为难。不知道怎样才会两全齐美。哎！